Transition

5 more weeks of early intervention.

In a word, ok in several words I am nervous, apprehensive and a bit afraid. The centre have been part of our lives for 2 years, and such a big part too. Starting grade one is huge, I know he is taking it all in his stride, I just can't help it. I want everything to be amazing for him, I know this is unrealistic on my part because I know it wont be. In so many ways he will be just fine and in others I know he will have difficulty. I am thinking of setting up a reward system for him and get some work books to do over the holidays. Fine motor is still a real problem, there has been very little improvement in his hand writing and he avoids colouring in and drawing.

I am feeling a bit isolated, no one really wants to know what it is you do to get through the day with out meltdowns and catastrophes happening and you put on the coping face, I'm not even sure you could explain, it isn't as though you know anything else, this is your life, and how do you explain that is can simply be something you say that triggers it... so we say.. yes we are great, things couldn't be better, just after you got home from the shopping trip from hell where your child squealed and ran the length of the shopping centre, then screamed and fell to the floor when you refused a request and some interfering old fool makes a snide comment about how your child is behaving. I know now that I am very tired my patience is wearing thin and I am a bit snappy. I try so hard to keep everything going smoothly but sometimes he is unreasonable and I can't just drop everything and give him 100% of my attention. I know he doesn't understand and that what he has to say is the most important thing in the world at that second, how do i say, well Riley was showing me XYZ you are just going to have to wait, it just doesn't wash, but I can't say sorry Riley step aside, he is only 4. Riley is right into performing at the moment, it is very cute but I think Alec feels a little put out by it and trys to butt in and we end up with a shouting match between the two of them, followed closely by tears.

Add to all of this the inability to keep the house looking even 1/2 way decent, if you read my scrapping blog you know I have a huge pile of laundry to fold, it is still there, some of it even has moved to the lounge room, I was going to fold it last night but I am so tired by the time the boys finally settle that I hung out my 4th load of washing for the day then fell into bed to watch tv in there, I select my clothes from the line for us each morning LOL.

Alec comes first, then Riley and Michael.. house 5th or 6th... well 52nd if you want to know the truth. I feel guilty because I make time for myself but not for the cleaning. I am at that breaking point right now I could easily sit all day staring at the tv or a blank wall. It is hard living day after day trying to anticipate someones needs and dealing with him when the world caves in on him.

I will end this with saying I would do it all over again, even try to do a little more. my boys are so precious I would do anything for them. With Alec my biggest fear is I haven't done enough. It is ongoing, forever which can be a bit daunting but I know what we do now will make him more able to cope and lead an independent lift, as long as he isn't in too much of a hurry to grow up. These guys are my world.

What did you do today?

This is a question I have asked Alec almost every day he has been to school or daycare. last night was the first time he has ever told me. I was thrilled and amazed by the whole experience, to have this type of interaction with him removed much of my exhaustion, some of my worry, made me feel a little less afraid of the future

What did you do with your new therapist at centre session today?

Who??

Candy

Oooooooooo

Well Candy got the parachute out, and we did a new chart, days of the week

and what day is it today?

umm I don't know..

tuuuuuuuuu

Tuesday!!!

what other days are there?

I don't know.. wednesday, thursday, friday...what are the others?

there are 7 days in a week.. Monday Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday.. and mummy's favourites, saturday and sunday!!!

so did you do anything else?

yes..in the jungle room I tried to get in the car.. but my bottom was too big.. giggles, you know the car turns into a snake and an elephant, and I did a lion.

For snack Candy came out and sat with me and Bryn, I had a little of my polony sandwich, but didn't have any of my sultanas or up and go

is that was you were hugry when we got home?

yes i think so.

Thank you so much for telling you me about your day

that's ok mum, tomorrow when we have our lie down cuddle I can tell you what I did tomorrow