What do you do when something in your life changes? not the day to day things as we grow and learn and co-exist with each other but something that changes the future entirely.
We grieve.
We grieve for what was going to be or actually for the possibility of what was going to be and we prepare ourselves for what the reality is now.
I know all the feelings I have are the same for both children, when they are hurt when their feelings are hurt or something confuses them, but with Alec I think I feel it more because in a way I feel some of it for him because autism has robbed him of the ability to pick up and process many things we take for granted. Say you walk in to a room, you can feel peoples moods, from the vibe, their body language and their facial expressions and the tone of their voices. Alec doesn't get any of that. He can learn these things and is learning, but recently we showed him a cross man that was smiling, we could tell it was a cross face and a false smile, Alec just saw a man that was happy.
It has almost been a year since Alec's diagnosis and I still grieve sometimes, not for long though as I devote myself to getting him the best early intervention we can.
So welcome, this is my life, there is always a chance of rain but lots of sunshine inbetween.
Saturday, October 28, 2006
A change of plans
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2 comments:
As the mother of a now almost 15 year old son with autism I can totally relate to these sentiments. Sometimes I feel sorry for myself and then I feel so self indulgent and selfish. Sometimes my heart breaks for him and the worry for his future is ALWAYS there. I know other parents worry about their kids but we worry that ours won't be able to cope in the world they find themselves in. Chin up. You are so brave to put yourself out there with this blog. I know in my heart of hearts that our children chose us as parents because we are up to it! Good for you, you are a great Mum (I can tell because Alec chose you)!
i hear and understand where you are coming from in this blog , sunshine and rain , good days and bad , pleasure and pain , a lot of the time you cant have one with out the other , and you need one to appreciate the other , i have two grandkidies one with autisum one with out , i see them as 2 individuals with individual needs , i some times for a split second feel sad for the lill one with autisum as he finds it hard to interact with others at times but then i realize this is part of his world and he knows no different , he still smiles and has his own fun , it makes me laugh when he mimics me and chuckels behind his hand at things he finds funny i feel honoured and priveledged that he allows me into his world , well at times hahahaha he has enhanced my life in so so so many ways . 2 quote you , a gift ! ..... cheers kathy ( zoo_keeper_911@hotmail.com )
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