A new day

Evenings are the hardest, everyone is tired and nerves are frayed. Morning brings a hope of a little harmony.

Riley has been so funny today, he started the day by taking the stool out to the clothes line to retrieve his spiderman outfit and his socks. It is not a cool day yet he wont take it off, arguing with a three year old is to be avoided today.

Alec went off to kindy on an almost empty stomach, he is very pale and has big bags under his eyes, I am now worried more than I have ever been about his lack of eating and nutrition. We still haven't found eeyore, I'm going to tidy up while they nap and I hope I find him, it is only adding to Alec's stress that he is lost.

A change of plans

What do you do when something in your life changes? not the day to day things as we grow and learn and co-exist with each other but something that changes the future entirely.

We grieve.

We grieve for what was going to be or actually for the possibility of what was going to be and we prepare ourselves for what the reality is now.

I know all the feelings I have are the same for both children, when they are hurt when their feelings are hurt or something confuses them, but with Alec I think I feel it more because in a way I feel some of it for him because autism has robbed him of the ability to pick up and process many things we take for granted. Say you walk in to a room, you can feel peoples moods, from the vibe, their body language and their facial expressions and the tone of their voices. Alec doesn't get any of that. He can learn these things and is learning, but recently we showed him a cross man that was smiling, we could tell it was a cross face and a false smile, Alec just saw a man that was happy.

It has almost been a year since Alec's diagnosis and I still grieve sometimes, not for long though as I devote myself to getting him the best early intervention we can.

So welcome, this is my life, there is always a chance of rain but lots of sunshine inbetween.